


O Is For Omniscient

by SK_Kasai



Series: The A-Z of One Lucifer Morningstar [15]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar, F/M, Hurt Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV), Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV) Needs A Hug, Nightmares, Post-Season/Series 04, Visions, but you know that by now, technically
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:55:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24024700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SK_Kasai/pseuds/SK_Kasai
Summary: "Funny thing is, I couldn't stop thinking about it." He chortled, his tears soaking her blouse, "Why make me the way I am if He knows everything including every single thing I'll do and how I'll turn out? No one knows how it all works, mind you, but surely this is a bit too much?"She could try and tell him that it was alright. She could try and tell him that life was all about not knowing. She could tell him something about a grand plan or how everything had a purpose. She could even voice how much she hated almost everyone in his accursed family.None of those felt right. None of those felt enough.How could you tell someone everything was fine when the world was falling apart around them?
Relationships: Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar, God & Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV)
Series: The A-Z of One Lucifer Morningstar [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1654774
Comments: 42
Kudos: 322





	O Is For Omniscient

**Author's Note:**

> After this one, it's gonna be fluffy/funny stuff for a while hopefully, starting with "P Is For Pranks".
> 
> Credit for this prompt goes to: Bring_me_light (Tricky_Arrow) and Karen.
> 
> Apologies for any mistakes. It's almost 2 a.m and I've been super busy with stupid university stuff the past week (ugh). I hope you enjoy this, lovely people! Stay safe.

“And you’re going to be alright without me?” She asked worriedly, biting her lip.

“Detective!” He scoffed, “You make me sound like a helpless toddler!”

“You’re a _lot_ like a toddler, Lucifer.” She mused.

“Detective!”

Chloe laughed, hugging him close to her when he grinned as well.

“I will be fine, darling.” Lucifer promised, dropping a kiss to the crown of her head, “I’ve survived eons without your delightful presence after all.”

“Right.” She nodded, eyebrows raised, “Sure.”

“Are you certain I cannot accompany you to this detective convention of yours?” He asked for the trillionth time, tightening his arms around her and sighing.

“Are you a detective, babe?”

“I can be if you want.” He wagged his eyebrows suggestively, “Anything you want really. Besides, how will you survive without me?”

“I’ll manage.”

“Good.” He leaned in to kiss her on the mouth, eyes tender and face almost lit up with his contagious joy, “Trust that I will do the same. See you Sunday evening?”

“See you.” She promised, hugging him one last time before turning to catch her flight, “I love you.”

“And I you, Detective.”

Everything would be fine.

Dan was going to pick Trixie up from school and take care of her for the weekend. He apparently had a father-daughter weekend planned. Hopefully, he wouldn’t screw it up.

Lucifer…

She watched her devilish boyfriend wave at her, wondering how silly they must look to the occupants of the busy airport. Neither of them cared though. Just like he was pretending that this meant nothing to him, she could pretend that she wasn’t worried about him. It wasn’t that they never spent time apart or anything like that.

It was just…

Ever since he came back form Hell and everything was resolved at last, Chloe often had trouble letting him out of her site for long periods of time. Hell had clearly had an effect on him. Besides, it seemed that their realtionship was also having a great impact on him. He was the happiest that she’d ever seen him but, sometimes, it felt like he was a few inches away from the knife’s edge.

It was ridiculous though. Lucifer was a grown man (devil). He could spend a weekend without her. She was just being paranoid.

Right?

_***cries in Deckerstar*** _

Honestly, the Detective’s worry was baffling. Lucifer found that it made his chest flutter in a strange way in addition to causing a permanent smile to reside on his face. His smile persisted as he drove his beloved Corvette all the way back to LUX. He should seriously stop it, but the devil didn’t have the heart to even try.

His day crawled by without much happening. 

He had a few things to deal with at his club and then some favours to fullfill before the sun set. Lucifer video called the Detective early that night. They chatted for a while, mostly banter and her telling him about the hotel and the schedule for tomorrow.

Everything was fine.

Once he was done with that, wishing he could kiss her or at least hold her close to him, Lucifer made his way down to his club. A few more favours were granted. A lot of expensive, vintage drinks were consumed. Even more patrons had to be fended off. Honestly, he was only interested in his Detective these days. He had great fun playing several sets on his cherished piano, singing and playing and just basking in the spotlight like he was meant to.

The Detective was not there but he was perfectly fine.

_***cries in Deckerstar*** _

Lucifer spent Saturday in much of the same way. He was a bit bored but that was the worst of it. He visited his brother’s house, even holding his spawn for almost one whole minute.

Everything was fine.

_***cries in Deckerstar*** _

_“It’s time.”_

_“I’ve always known.”_

_“I forgive you.”_

_“It is time to come back.”_

_“The gates will be open for you, Lightbringer.”_

_“The day is coming. Soon. Incredibly soon.”_

_“I have always known.”_

_“I have always known.”_

_The echoes grew louder but never became threatening. On the contrary, they were almost like calming whispers. Lucifer wandered around in the endless whiteness, trying to understand why the voice was soothing him and simulatenously setting off alarm bells in his head._

Lucifer screamed, almost toppling off his bed.

He knew that voice. Voices.

_It’s just a dream. It’s just a dream. It’s just dream._

That was all that was. A dream. A stupid dream. Well, a nightmare. 

Lucifer swallowed thickly, sinking back to his pillows. The more pathetic, “human” part of him was begging him to call the Detective, if only to hear her voice. Sparing a glance at his phone and finding that it was a bit before four in the morning, the devil immediately shot that thought down. He couldn’t pretend that he was calling for no reason at this time of the night. It would be about five a.m where the Detective was which somehow made it sound worse.

He was not needy or clingy. The Detective’s marvellous treatment of him was a revelation, a blessing, a miracle by its own right. However, Lucifer still held on to the notion that he didn’t need it.

_“Lucifer, what we need isn’t necessarily the bare minimum of what it required to keep us away from absolute death.” Doctor Linda explained, “What we need, love included, can be something that makes us feel good, that makes our lives better, that makes things easier for us...”_

_“Maybe that’s how it is with humans, Doctor.”_

_“Lucifer...”_

He rolled over, pressing his face to his pillow and groaning. To think that everything was going so well.

He hadn’t heard that voice in so long long that Lucifer was almost convinced that he was just imaginng it. Who knew what his Father sounded like? Even with his perfect recall, summoning the memory of his Father’s voice seemed almost impossible. It had been so long… Besides, all of those particular memories were locked away in the farthest corner of his mind.

Lucifer was, for all intents and purposes, better off forgetting.

It was just a stupid dream. It didn’t even make sense. Who walked around endlessly like that?

The thoughts were creeping up at the back of his mind though. He knew whose style that was. He was painfully aware that his dreams were nothing like this.

If it was not a dream though, Lucifer was not even willing to begin thinking about what that meant.

He pulled the covers up over his head, snuggling in, telling himself that he can fall back to sleep. He was _so_ tired. Honestly, it would only be several hours until he could see the Detective. He could call her in a few hours even.

Everything would be fine.

_***cries in Deckerstar***_

In the end, Lucifer didn't call the Detective. He was too busy obsessing over the voice to do so.

He was too busy thinking.

What did it all mean?

Lucifer giggled, drowning another bottle of expensive scotch in almost one gulp before tossing it behind the couch.

_"The gates will be open to you soon, Lightbringer."_

Ha.

Lucifer had come to a painful realization. On the off chance that the odd feelings in his chest were a true indicator of the fact that it _was_ his Father giving him a message, what did it imply?

_"I forgive you."_

His Father was omniscient. 

Lucifer had always known that of course. Now, however, with those words heard in that voice... He had never considered the possibility of his Father ever letting him back into the Silver City much less actually talking to him. Forgiving him? Lucifer was half convinced that he was insane for dreaming that up alone. The problem was that he had just realized it.

He had never been like everyone else.

If his Father was all-knowing, why create him in the first place?

If He planned on forgiving him, why put him through literal hell?

If He was going to let him live his life, why deny him the one thing he had wanted? Why design him in a way that made him _want_ in the first place?

Why not just make another soldier? 

Why create him if He knew that he would only ask questions no one wanted to answer? Why not just skip creating Lucifer all together? Why not just kill him when he was a child? Why not fix him? Why not create him like everyone else?

Lucifer wondered if he should call Doctor Linda. He would have scheduled an appointment, but it was Sunday. Maybe he should go to her house?

He couldn't get the dream out of his mind. Every single time he closed his eyes, he saw white. The sentences and promises rang in his ears, an ever-present torment that resembled everything he loathed to think about.

There was also the Detective to consider. Was his Father going to...

To what?

He could take her away. He could smite her. He could erase her from existence. Was this what the message meant?

Lucifer shivered, staring at the ceiling as he worked his way through his impressive alcohol display. He wasn't making any sense, not even to himself. His reaction to this... Everything was wrong.

It was almost as though the world was something that existed beyond the confines of his own skull. Lucifer was lost; imprisoned and held captive by shackles of spiralling thoughts he could not seem to put an end to and chains made of words that burned.

He wondered if his life was meaningless. His Father could _not_ possibly want to forgive him. If He was planning to, then what was the point of him in the first place?

Then again, that seemed to bring an entire new set of problematic questions. 

Was he just created to be hated? Scorned? Vilified? Blamed for every single mistake and every horrible thing to ever happen?

That was even worse.

Lucifer was drowning. He had no idea where this continuous flood of venomous water was coming from, but he also had no clue how to survive it.

**_*cries in Deckerstar*_ **

"So, Dad!" He hiccupped, glaring at the ceiling, "Why won't you talk to me? Why do I exist if you knew I would only disappoint you? Did you make me just so that you can have someone to blame all the horrible things in this world on?"

He got no answer. Of course he didn't. Lucifer was stupid for even considering it. It wasn't like his Father talked to them much. Actually, he was almost certain that he probably held the record. If whatever the hell happened a few hours ago was real, then He had talked to Lucifer twice ever since... Well. The Fall. He could not really tell how much his siblings back in the Silver City talked to their Father, but it probably wasn't much.

Last night, he had fallen asleep going through pictures of him and the Detective on his phone. He'd been so happy; smiling like an idiot. He was beyond smitten with her and he was _happy_ about it. At the moment, his phone resided somewhere under his bed, screen cracked from when it had accidentally fallen when Lucifer woke up from... whatever that was. It flashed with the Detective's caller ID for what must have been the tenth time that day. He had forgotten that it existed. 

"Did you make me so that you would have someone to hate?" He yelled at the ceiling, shifting from where he was lying on the couch, "Did you want a good laugh? Were you bored or something?"

Lucifer sighed. He should talk to someone. He had "friends" now. Doctor Linda said that that's what one does in situations like these. Lucifer didn't really believe in it. Crying in front of anyone like was doing at the moment, even the Detective, was too much for him. He'd come to terms with the fact that he was broken a long time ago; there was no need to broadcast to those who claimed to care about him too. Despite all the good Doctor's words and reassurances, it still felt as though everyone would run and give up on him if they ever saw how pathetic he truly was.

"Why tell me this now?" He questioned, "Is everything in the Silver City going slow? Is Mikey busy? Are you enjoying tormenting me now that the Detective is gone?"

He was doomed. He'd only just barely begun to believe that he could live a good life with his one true love, but now... How could he have been stupid enough to believe that? Nothing good ever lasted. Not for him. His Father had probably designed it like that.

"Don't you dare harm her!" He yelled suddenly, sitting up, "I swear, if you... You wouldn't dare! I'll burn the Silver City down! I'll show you what _war_ truly looks like! I'll show you what the true power of Hell is! I... You can't. I've given up trying to understand you millennia ago, and I've been tired of all your impossible mind games for even longer than that. I just-"

"My apologies." A voice sighed, "You were not ready for this, my son."

Lucifer cracked his eyes open slowly, blinking rapidly as if it could somehow get rid of the pain behind them. When had he closed them? Was it because of how they were burning? Was it because of the light?

He was disgusting.

He hadn't been able to move to do anything other than grab more alcohol. As far as he could tell, he had managed to drink enough to give himself more than a pleasant buzz. Lucifer had giggled when he'd thought that that was a "miracle".

He had no idea what time it was much less what he had been doing all day. The Penthouse was no longer dark though. Blinding light streamed through the grand windows, bathing the open space in its cheery glow. He usually loved light. He'd made this sun after all and all the other stars. All he could think about back then was how proud he was of his creation's ability to _vanquish darkness._

He was the Lightbringer. He'd blessed the _universe_ with light. Then again, that might have been pointless. Maybe his Father had known that he would do that and it was the only thing he required of him? Perhaps the universe needed him and him alone to light it up because... Well, his _omniscient_ Father would know, would he not?

Lucifer groaned at the light, trying his hardest to understand what was happening. Something brushed against his forehead. A cool sense of relief spread through his skin. He could almost recognize it for what it was. He could almost remember feeling this a long, long time ago.

His eyes closed before the world around him sharpened enough. For all he knew, this was a dream too.

Lucifer slipped into a dreamless sleep, unsure of whether he was awake or asleep to begin with. It wasn't like he could be sure of anything anymore.

**_*cries in Deckerstar*_ **

He hadn't shown up to the airport to pick her up. She'd been beyond pissed off for a moment, but that feeling rapidly passed. In this stage of their relationship, and even before when they'd been "just friends and nothing more", Lucifer wouldn't have done this unless he had a good reason. He was annoyingly punctual when he wanted to be. He was annoying and childish but not...

She tried calling him again after she waited for some time. Just like it had been doing all day long, the phone rang and rang before going to voice mail. 

Something was wrong.

She was almost tempted to call Linda or someone to go check up on him. She had been for a few hours actually. This was all very unlike her boyfriend. However, Chloe tried to convince herself that she was blowing things out of proportion. People were late sometimes. People forgot. People got stuck in traffic or lost track of time. Phones were flimsy, breakable things...

She did her hardest to focus on those thoughts as she waited for her Uber. She ordered a ride straight to LUX, trying to think of Dan and Trixie's adorable pictures from where they'd gone camping. They'd be making their way back to his apartment now. Both of her and Dan had agreed to treat this as a normal weekend of his. She and Lucifer would just pick her daughter up from school tomorrow.

"Lucifer! Lucifer! Lucifer!"

Chloe ran into the Penthouse, barely waiting for the elevator doors to open. Sometime during her ride here, which had taken forever by the way, she'd stopped trying to convince herself that he was perfectly okay. 

"Lucifer!"

She found him on the couch, seemingly asleep. Did he miss picking her up because he'd been asleep? That was also unlike him. He didn't sleep much in the first place. Here he was, curled up on the couch, head pillowed on his hands and knees almost pressed to his chest.

He looked wrecked. Any remaining traces of her previous fury dissipated. Worry settled in her chest instead.

She eased herself down next to him, studying his slumbering form. Lucifer was shirtless, dressed only in a pair of silky boxers; what he typically wore to bed. His hair was curly and matted to his forehead with sweat. His stubble was a bit longer than usual. He hadn't trimmed it or gone through with any of his usual intricate grooming routine this morning then.

Was he sick?

She noted the fine sheen of sweat coating his body and then the puffiness of his eyes. There were dried tear tracks on his cheeks. He smelled of scotch too, a bit like a liquor store actually.

"Lucifer?" Chloe whispered, gently shaking his shoulder, "Are you okay?"

He didn't even stir. Lucifer merely smacked his lips and mumbled something.

"Lucifer?"

This time, he seemed to register her voice. Lucifer moved just a bit, reaching out to grasp her shirt with one of his hands. His head ended up on her thigh, face buried in her jeans. In a second or so, he was curled up against her, seeking out comfort in his troubled sleep.

She carded a hand through his messy hair, wondering what to do. He was a bit hot to touch, but not hot enough to qualify for feverish. Could devils even get sick?

"Lucifer." She nudged his shoulder, feeling almost guilty for waking him up. She needed to know what was going on with him though. Chloe needed to understand what she missed. Her just exaggerating everything seemed less and less likely by the moment.

"Are you real or is he making me see you too?" He mumbled, cracking one eye open to stare at her. She almost gasped, finding that it was glowing almost white for just a moment. What did that mean? The light seemed to go off though, blinking out to be replaced by the regular, warm brown that she adored.

"What?"

"I really hate you, you know?" He mumbled, craning his neck up to look at the ceiling before sighing and burying his face back in her leg. It took a moment for it to click.

"Are you talking to your... to God?"

"Yes." He answered shortly, "But you'd know that, I'm guessing. Is this some new game, Dad?"

"I'm not... I'm not your father, Lucifer." She frowned. Was he high? "What's going on?"

"Well, not _you._ " He huffed, sounding annoyed, "You're a vision. At least, I guess so. Are you a hallucination?"

"Lucifer, it's me. Chloe." She hated how panicked she sounded, "What's going on?" she repeated.

He'd never done something like this before.

"Like hell I'd know." He giggled, shaking his head.

"What happened?"

"It was all better before your stupid vision." He spoke at last. She didn't know if he was addressing her or someone else.

"What vision?"

"All your questions are _bloody irritating._ " He groaned, "Is this why you hated all _m_ _y_ questions? Did I sound this annoying? I'd say sorry, but you'd have known that I'd ask you annoying questions before I even existed, soooooo..."

"Are you drunk?"

"I wish." He sighed, "Alcohol ran out. Didn't feel up to moving to go to LUX's collection."

Chloe noticed the empty bottles and the destroyed alcohol display just then, almost by some sort of magical spell. She had no idea how she managed to miss it the first time around.

"Lucifer, I don't know what's going on with you, but I'm here." She told him, pressing a kiss to his temple, her fingers skirting along his stubble just like she knew he liked it, "I love you and I'm here for you."

"Stop lying!" He yelled, jumping up and moving away from her as if he had been burned. Lucifer almost fell off the couch. His panicked eyes, somehow managing to glint with fury, darted around the room. They even flashed red for a moment.

"Lucifer, it's me." She held up her hands in surrender, voice calm and level despite the fear and worry occupying her mind, "Chloe. I'm real. I'm... I-I'm not going to hurt you. I'd _never_ hurt you. Just tell me what's going on, please. Let me help."

"You're not the Detective." He rolled his eyes, sitting corss-legged on the couch, regarding her with scrutiny and distrust, "The Detective is far away and she won't be back for _ages._ "

"Lucifer, what time is it?"

Maybe she should call Linda. He had no idea where he was, what time it was, or what was going on around him. She didn't need to be a mental health expert to discern that this was beyond bad.

"How am I supposed to know?" He scoffed crossing his arms, "Dear old Dad and his stupid light tricks and visions fucked my sense of... _bloody_ everything. I hate it. I have no idea what happened."

Oh, her poor devil. From what she could piece together, he'd talked to his Father? Wow. She was gone for less than two days and the two most powerful beings in this universe- the Goddess apparently had her own universe now?- talked for the first time in millennia. Sweet. Totally made sense too.

Lucifer wouldn't make it up though. He wouldn't be this distraught over nothing. Her heart broke. She'd only wanted to teach him that he got to have friends in his time of need too; that he deserved love and comfort and someone to hug him and oat his back. She went away for that dumb convention and _this_ happened?

What she would do to her boyfriend's family, if she ever met them, was becoming more and more gruesome by the second. How could it not when Lucifer looked like a single word might cause him fall apart in a way that no one could ever glue the broken pieces back together?

"Lucifer," she whispered, "I'm going to hug you. You know what that's like. I've hugged you a thousand times."

She continued her slow narration, careful and cautious as she approached him. He began to shiver again. He didn't pull away when she finally managed to reach him and wrap her arms around his trembling form what felt an eternity later.

"That's it." She smiled, rubbing his back soothingly, "You're okay. Everything's okay."

But it wasn't. She was way out of her depth. What could she even do to remedy this situation? Chloe wasn't even sure that Lucifer was with her. He seemed... lost. Broken. She tried to imagine a scenario where _talking_ to her daughter yielded such a catastrophic reaction and failed. It was probably different when it came to Celestials, but parenthood should have the same general rules. Whatever those were, traumatizing your kid this badly was definitely against them. It just had to be.

"Chloe?" He breathed, amazed, "You're really here..."

His arms were suddenly around her. Lucifer clung to her, his chest heaving with silent sobs.

"I don't u-understand what's happening to me." He managed to say, "I... Help. Detective. _Please._ Make it stop."

She had no idea what was it that she needed to make stop, but Chloe could not care less. She held him, rocking him back and forth gently, knowing that he would hate everything about this had he had been anywhere close to his normal self.

"He... It was supposed to be a dream. A weird one, but a dream nonetheless." Lucifer told her, his voice low and his words hollow yet rushed, "I tried to go back to sleep and ignore it, but the voice... It was _him._ I just bloody know it and then everything went wrong and... and... What does He mean He wants to forgive me? He said that the gates of the Silver City will be open to me very soon! Then he... I saw light and something touched my forehead and I know it was His voice! What is He doing? Why is He doing this to me?"

"Oh, Lucifer..."

Chloe had no idea what she could even say.

"Funny thing is, I couldn't stop thinking about it." He chortled, his tears soaking her blouse, "Why make me the way I am if He knows _everything_ including every single thing I'll do and how I'll turn out? No one knows how it all works, mind you, but surely this is a bit too much?"

She could try and tell him that it was alright. She could try and tell him that life was all about not knowing. She could tell him something about a grand plan or how everything had a purpose. She could even voice how much she hated almost everyone in his accursed family. 

None of those felt right. None of those felt _enough._

How could you tell someone everything was fine when the world was falling apart around them?

She couldn't even pretend to understand what he was going through much less tell him that she and the answers to all his questions. Only one person did and if this was the result of the two of them talking...

"He hardly even said anything!" Lucifer exclaimed, angry with himself, "Why am I b-being affected like this? Make it stop. I don't understand. Make it stop!"

Chloe just held him.

She let him cry and she whispered soothing nonsense in his ear. She caressed him and kissed him and tried her hardest to ignore her own tears and her own struggles with all of this. Could he never catch a break? What was the meaning of this?

Eventually, they ended up lying on the couch together. Lucifer fell into an exhausted slumber with her hand in his hair and his face buried in her shoulder, lying half on top of her and trembling with the magnitude of revelations and confrontations that she would _definitely_ need to get him to talk about later.

Not tonight though. Of course not.

She watched him sleep, wondering if he would have another "vision". Had she been around, would he be better? Would she have found a way to comfort him? Would she have found a way to resolve it?

Was she even doing enough to help him? He would always do anything to help her. To comfort her.

"You are more than enough. You are everything he needs at the moment. Thank you."

Chloe was frozen.

The sun had set a few minutes ago. There on the porch, she could've sworn she just saw a figure standing and looking at the two of them before he vanished into thin air.

Damn. 

**Author's Note:**

> As usual, feel free to suggest any prompt after the letter "P" and any other prompts you'd like to read. Do you think I should write more fluff or more angst? Both are fun to write...
> 
> Have a nice day though!


End file.
